Agent Humor - Anarchy Online - Fat Jaws Badness

Grax Brigadier General Posts: 161	Posted on Wed Nov 5, 2003 8:27 am I have been reading alot of people' thoughts here on these boards. And I have come to the point that you have to admire people that writes these posts. It takes a certain amount courage to write something and come out in favor of things that everybody else in the 'audience' are against, like improvements for the Agent profession. I got a minor example here of my own: you are a agent if..? You are an agent if: - The total of non-Agent nanos uploaded exceed your Agent uploaded. The more expensive they are, the better. - If you can stand in a silly, half-crouched position, utterly convinced you're hidden from the world, even though anyone approaching can spot you in fractions of a second. - If the only thing outnumbering your concealment skill is the number of useless nanos cluttering your interface - If it felt like a orgasm when doing your first Aimed Shot causing 10,000 points of damage to target mob. - If you feel 40 meter might be a tad on the short side for range on a high powered rifle. - If you find being the size of a bug slightly amusing until you find the first crack in the pavement. - If you got more knowledge about most professions nanos and equipment than the majority of said profession. - If you find yourself scratching on the shortkey for aimed shot when attacking mobs. And you get irritated when detected! - If you get asked for buffs from several different proffesions, all at once. - If everyone hates you. - If your volcalbulary consists of cynical 'heh' and deadly punchlines that would make the hardenest squirm nervously. - If you keep your rifles seperated in bags marked "Buffing" and "Fighting" - If you're totally calm in PvP, 'cause you know you'll die anyway. - If the only free space in your nano interface is in your "Favorite" folder. - If you wish for a second, and even a third, set of shortcut bars in your HUD. - If you've terminated more than once within the space of two minutes. - If you've ever use your dots for no other purpose but to annoy. - If your eyes glaze over and you grin sheepishly when someone mentions "Ranee" or "The Dis". - If you get slightly paranoid when faced with news of "Improvements". - If messages of "upcoming love" makes you cringe and mutter something intelligible about "rough love". - If you know better than to ask agents for NCU buffs and HoT's. - If you can write articles filled with arguments that would "talk off the pants" of anyone that even tries to open his or her trap. - If you still wonder why the hell Agents have Sneak Attack. - If you think 40 million credits for a rifle is just silly. - If you can't for the life of you figure out what the purpose of Adv. Face Graft is. - If you question the logic of an item standing half a foot above ground being easier to hit than a fourhundred pound atrox enforcer sparkling from shield nanos. - If you find immense amounts of joy in combining Ruse 3, Slayer Transference and Quantum wings. - If you have nanos uploaded that you cannot use. - If you've experienced Funcom's vision? for your profession to be as consistent as the prime minister post of Italy\\truthful as B. Clinton's testimonies\\intelligent as G.W. Bush's many statements. - If you're still wondering what it is you're supposed to spy on. - If you are a firm believer of the conspiracy theory that the only reason Funcom chose not fix the main issues around the Agent profession, is that they don't want to make every other profession obselete in the process. - If the fact that a Doctor or a Merchant can assassinate with greater ease than an Assassin still has you slightly befuddled. Finally, all Visual Profession nanos and equipment are ultimately Agent gear. The profession who can use it without the False Profession: Agent nano is merely borrowing it from us, because we are so nice. And as we all know, Agents created all nanos. It isn't until recently the other professions figured out how to do it on their own. The good thing about this gives us a certain right to gloat over everyone else. The bad thing is that everyone, including ourselfs, think of us as wolfes dressed as sheeps. By Destructiva Original post here


Dolemyte Commander Posts: 1116	Posted on Wed Nov 5, 2003 10:37 am Show me the funny, Grax, cuz I sure as hell don't see it.
	Dolemyte Commander


Slayer Tactical Officer Posts: 869	Posted on Wed Nov 5, 2003 11:14 am You might be The Cheese Steak Killa if....


Gearshift Intelligence Officer Posts: 346	Posted on Wed Nov 5, 2003 11:15 am I concur with you whole heartedly my African American brother.


Cosmic Colonel Posts: 53	Posted on Thu Nov 6, 2003 12:34 am Put your hands up and step away from the Philly Cheese Steak......... Well there go several minutes of my life I'll never get back! Thanks Grax! I'm assuming that I, like the others who replied, thought that it was supposed to be a humorous post. What happened???!? If you're really that pissed off about the lack of improvements in the AGENT profession, your time would be MUCH better spent starting a new character [ This message was edited by: Cosmic on 2003-11-06 14:33 ]
	"I like to park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces." - The Asshole Song


Grax Brigadier General Posts: 161	Posted on Thu Nov 6, 2003 9:43 am Heh I thought it was funny... oh well sorry guys guess its just funny to agents heh.


Cosmic Colonel Posts: 53	Posted on Fri Nov 7, 2003 1:26 am Feel free to send that to 10 Agents in game and let me know what they're responses are. I have a feeling it will prove that profession will have absolutely no bearing on the amount of humor (or lack there of) found in that posting. Coz I hope Pod gets back soon, I had to edit this msg when I realized it was a bit harsh for Grax. Sorry, I'm chomping at the bit for PodBoy to come back and I'm beginnning to project onto the wrong people. That being said Grax, That posting was about as funny as an abortion. Coz [ This message was edited by: Cosmic on 2003-11-07 13:34 ]
	"I like to park in handicapped spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces." - The Asshole Song


Dolemyte Commander Posts: 1116	Posted on Fri Nov 7, 2003 2:33 am At least an abortion would have the humorous plop and fart noises. I can't believe we ragged on you for makeing a post grax, but there ain't no funny in it. Keep ya head up playa!
	Dolemyte Commander


Slayer Tactical Officer Posts: 869	Posted on Fri Nov 7, 2003 3:07 am Thats me, and I didn't find it funny at all.


Dolemyte Commander Posts: 1116	Posted on Fri Nov 7, 2003 4:32 am That's a clanner, he don't count
	Dolemyte Commander